Getting a Girlfriend

If you sit down with your guy friends and start rambling and pissing on yourself why the high school jock got the girl and you’re stuck with looking at her facebook pictures, shut up.

Noone wants to hear about it. Think about your situation constructively, and instead of going all emo and crying like a baby bitch, figure out your course of action.

Usually, these pity parties will end up with “boohooo he’s a useless human being and I’m so special” or “booohooo I was going to ask her out but he beat me to it”.

There’s a difference between him and you. Although he’s got the IQ of a cucumber, he has initiative. Instead of sulking on the bus ride home and rushing to get on the next Guild Raid, he probably went to football practice, and then walked home, and thought of a plan. It likely wasn’t an intelligent one, but he did something. Instead of writing poems and crying on grouphug.us, he went and talked to her about his day, her day, and one thing lead to another, and they’re seeing each other.

You fucked up. You don’t need to have three concussions to be like him. You just need initiative. You need to do something, anything. Anything that brings you closer to your goal will work. Somehow, I just don’t think that involves the newest World of Warcraft Expansion Pack.

Close this browser window and do something. What’s stopping you? Just do what he does, with more brains.

Everyone needs a hook. Although you should be act and look similar to what society sees as good looking, you need something about you. Something that makes you memorable. This can be something visual: the guy with bright blue eyes, or the something abstract. Here are some examples:

The guy with the fedora (kind of retarded […]

Remember the scene from 40 Year Old Virgin where the black guy said (when referencing his facial hair):
“I mean, look, dude. You think this was an accident? All of this right here? Premeditated, partner. You gotta highlight your attributes, like a diamond in the rough.”
As someone that draws a lot of information from that […]

Although you may scoff at the fact that having clean fingernails will help get you a girlfriend, you need to know that these little things are part of a big picture. No woman will get on their knees after seeing a well-looked after hand, but when the guy’s got clean nails, clean ears, well cut […]

You’re no Gandalf.
Chances are, if you’re reading this, puberty hasn’t happened that long ago. That aside, there aren’t women out there who will melt at the site of patchy facial. (don’t go through the effort of proving me wrong, you will only waste your time) They also won’t melt at those seal whiskers you have […]

If you bite your fingernails, your fingernails will generally look disgusting. It’s like looking at a clump of dry skin on someone’s face, what with all the skin bits dangling everywhere and junk.
If you’re going to whine about the fact that it’s a habit, you can’t stop, etc. then, clearly you aren’t motivated enough to […]

If being yourself worked, you’d already have a girlfriend. If trading for crafting materials in Ironforge got you laid, you’d be all set. But it doesn’t.
You need to be the person that the girl’s want. This sounds simple, but it isn’t. You have to understand what type of person that girls want. I’m not saying […]

If you can seduce a crowd of people with your stories, chances are, you aren’t reading a blog on getting a girlfriend. But, if you are reading this, I can tell you that how well you can tell stories is proportionate to how many girlfriends you will have in your lifetime.
People (including girls, I suppose) […]

I’ll throw it out there that there is no amazing gift to give a woman or a girlfriend. It can be anything, (well almost anything, try to stay away from action figures… I suppose) there is one important thing:
It needs to have a story.
What is this story about? Here are some examples:

How much you think […]

You may think you smell okay, alright or satisfactory. If you ask anyone else, you’re not likely to get an honest answer. For example, my brother has a habit of saying a smell like shit, all the time. Your mum would likely have a habit of saying you smell okay all the time. You don’t […]