Getting a Girlfriend

If you bite your fingernails, your fingernails will generally look disgusting. It’s like looking at a clump of dry skin on someone’s face, what with all the skin bits dangling everywhere and junk.

If you’re going to whine about the fact that it’s a habit, you can’t stop, etc. then, clearly you aren’t motivated enough to get a girlfriend. How many more years of slapping your meat to your female warlock will it take before you take initiative and conquer something as simple as putting your fingers in your mouth and making crunchy noises.

That made me think, everything about fingernail biting is disgusting:

• putting your hands that have touches doorknobs and handles in your mouth
• the string of mouth juice that shows up when you take your fingers out of your mouth
• the face you have and the sound you make
• the juicy wet finger after you’ve taken it out of your mouth
• the little bits of skin and swing everywhere

It’s your choice. Every little bit helps when it comes to getting a girlfriend.

Stop biting, start fornicating.