Getting a Girlfriend

If you can seduce a crowd of people with your stories, chances are, you aren’t reading a blog on getting a girlfriend. But, if you are reading this, I can tell you that how well you can tell stories is proportionate to how many girlfriends you will have in your lifetime.

People (including girls, I suppose) will hang onto your every word. When you’re telling a story to a few people, you’re expressing dominance. You aren’t that little kid who rushes home to play his Warlock, suddenly, you’re important, so important, people listen to you. Stories are amazing ice-breakers.

Few tips on how you can craft a good story:

• Have a point, some sort of climax. Like a joke.
• Evoke some sort of emotion: “Oh you poor thing”. “That was so funny I defecated in my trousers!”
  

Think about your story before you tell it. When you’re on the bus, think of a something that happened to you that night or that morning that could make a good story. If you’re nervous, practice on your man friends.

Examples of clutch stories:

• You woke and your ballsack was litterally twisted altogether and you couldn’t walk… etc.
• You slipped in the shower and got a bottle of shampoo in your ass…
• The cat puked on the table while you were eating breakfast.

Those are good man stories, you’ll probably have to think of more girly one’s where you save a cat, someone fell on you in the bus, how you saw a cousin you haven’t seen in such a long time, etc. Just don’t tell guys these examples…

Git’em.